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Tidbits of Care

Lifestyle blog for self care, mental health and personal growth

Mental Health  /  February 25, 2022

Things You Learn by the Time You Hit 40

There are so many things we can only learn by growing older. I have learned so much in the past decade about myself, and I have to say, being in my thirties was tough. Today I want to talk about what I think your 20s, 30s, and 40s are all about. I’m also going to include the things I learned by the time I was 40, because I think some of these things just happen with life experience and growth.

Being in Your 20s

This is a decade of discovery. But on a very surface level. In your twenties, you can either focused on uni and career or you are a wandering soul, lost and unsure. You can also be both, flipping between an ambition and extreme uncertainty as you try to figure out, what do I want do with my life? This is also a decade where we are really focused on relationships–find our soul mate and possibly beginning to think about marriage and children. Or, if we want marriage and children. I remember being in my twenties and thinking I had it all figured out–until I hit 28 and realized I didn’t. I was 28 and suddenly realizing, I had no idea about life at all. But I had figured out a few things. I had figured out that I needed to focus on what I wanted, and not what I thought others wanted for me. I had figured out that if I was going to be a teacher, I wasn’t going to be a high school teacher because the age group intimidated me and the approaches were too dry for me. I had some things figured out.

Suggested for You: 10 Unique Self Care Ideas for Women in their 40s

Being in Your 30s

Your thirties is all about independence. Like, real independence away from mom and dad and their ideas, and exploring the life you want. You begin to assert yourself in ways you wouldn’t have before, voicing opinions more. And then worrying about voicing those opinions. You start to really think about what you want in a partner, and maybe even re-think what you want in marriage and family. You also start living more for yourself. You don’t go places just because your friends want to, or because they are going. You are finding out more about what you like and value. My thirties were a decade of anxiety as I struggled with being financially independent and worried about my job security and what everyone thought of me. It was a hard decade, and I was lucky enough that early in my thirties I found my life partner, my husband, who supported me through a year of chronic pain, through years of anxiety and worry, and helped me grow into who I really am. Could I have done it without him? I think so, because I did all the hard work. But I am glad he was there. I’m also glad my thirties are behind me. I really figured out who I was through all of this, and what I wanted, so it was also a decade of discovery.

What I’ve Learned Now that I’m 41

Here are just some of things I’ve learned by the time I was 40, and I promise you, if you haven’t figured these out yet, you will.

  • how to really not give a f**k what people think
  • how to be more authentic
  • what is really important to me, not just what I think is
  • how to speak my mind
  • to know when not to speak my mind
  • how to be more gentle with myself
  • that pleasing others isn’t always best
  • that life isn’t about having it all figured out–you never will
  • to embrace my dreams, it’s never too late to do the “impossible” stuff
  • to judge less and consider more
  • that who I am is enough
  • that trying to be something I’m not is soul crushing
  • that who I am is the only person I should try to be
  • that how I feel is valid, even if others think it’s not
  • to trust myself
things I learned by 40 photo of a hand holding a bouquet of sunflowers

These are some of the things I learned by the time I was 40. Many of these I thought I had conquered earlier in my life, but the truth is, I hadn’t. Maybe I personally needed more time but I also think that there is a certain wisdom, if you will, that comes with growing older that you just can’t embrace fully when you are younger.

What did you learn by the time you were 40? Or what do you want to learn? Share in the comments below.

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Meet the Blogger

Hi! I'm Giulia
I write a lifestyle blog that seeks to inspire others to begin to their own journey into self care, one tidbit at a time. I am passionate about sharing my own journey from the last decade, and what I've learned along the way. I love chips and dip and Tudor ficiton.

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Today has been a wonderful, quiet day—after all the cleaning was done that is. I cherish quiet days. It’s nice to just melt into them and enjoy the sense of peace that comes with them. I love to read, or crochet on quiet days, or watch the baby as he plays. Who else loves quiet days? #tidbitsofcare #peacefulday #selfcaresunday🌸 #quietdayathome #lifestyleblogger #blog #selfcareblog #timetoreflect🙏
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    13 Comments

    • Fadima mooneira says:
      February 26, 2022 at 7:52 am

      Good post! I need to take note Of everything you’ve said in this post. I’ll be 40 in four years time. I hope i’ll happy and successful In my 40’s. thank you for sharing.
      Fadima mooneira recently posted…INTRODUCING KOMPLOT CERPEN PENULIS PALUAN SENI (FADIMA MOONEIRA’S 6TH BOOK)My Profile

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        February 26, 2022 at 7:55 am

        I’m finding my 40s much more peaceful so far 😊 Hopefully that is true for you as well.

        Reply
    • Maria says:
      February 26, 2022 at 9:33 am

      I really enjoyed reading this post. I relate to alot of what you say, however it feels like I skipped some years 😅 I’m only 31 but 100% relate to your 40s point. Maria x | themarize.com
      Maria recently posted…Is It True You Have 3 Loves In Your Life? The Three Great Loves TheoryMy Profile

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        February 26, 2022 at 9:44 am

        Of course everyone’s life experience is different! Some of us are “old souls” 🙂 I hope you continue as contentedly in life.

        Reply
    • Molly | Transatlantic Notes says:
      February 26, 2022 at 11:38 am

      I definitely feel that being in my 40s is all about authenticity. You develop a really solid understanding of the importance of intentional joy and in our 40s that is when we can cultivate that more freely. I also give so few f*cks about what other think about me it’s been enlightening, haha!
      Molly | Transatlantic Notes recently posted…Behind the Blog: Writing About LifeMy Profile

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        February 28, 2022 at 8:35 am

        Yes, Molly, you have hit the nail on the head! Thanks for sharing that so clearly.

        Reply
    • charlene mcelhiNney says:
      February 26, 2022 at 7:26 pm

      I Love this post, i really Need to learn to Trust myself more & be more gentLe with MyseLf. I think as the Years pass us by we realLy dO learn more about oursElVes, this was a great post chiCk, live reflective blog entries like this!

      Charlene mcelhiNney
      https://charlenemcelhinNey.co.uk

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        February 26, 2022 at 8:22 pm

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think we do learn more about ourselves as we get older.

        Reply
    • Maria Khan says:
      March 21, 2022 at 7:14 am

      I really like your post!

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        March 21, 2022 at 8:19 am

        Thank you!

        Reply
    • Amazing Baby says:
      March 22, 2022 at 12:51 pm

      YAAAS! Your ’40’ List is on point. I am less fearful now at this age than every before. Probably because I have seen the consequences of what happens when you should speak up, but don’t.

      Reply
      • Giulia says:
        March 22, 2022 at 1:46 pm

        Yeah, people walk all over you! Glad you could relate darling.

        Reply
    • Maria Khan says:
      March 25, 2022 at 8:13 am

      I really enjoyed reading this post!
      Maria Khan recently posted…How to find files in linuxMy Profile

      Reply
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