The Stresses of Buying and Selling Your Home

I’m back again! If you’ve been following me on Instagram, you’ll know that my husband and I decided to sell our condo and buy a house. An actual house with a yard, driveway and everything! We really were not in the market for this change, but we happened to find a house that was perfect, that we could really see ourselves in and so we bought the house. Life is surreptitious like this at times.

But I have to tell you…this has been a stressful, whirlwind life event. Things happened we didn’t expect to happen and there were times we were seriously worried about how how things would pan out with the purchase of this new home. I’m diving into it below!

Buyer’s Stress

Let’s talk about the stress of being a home buyer and seller. Deciding to buy, to find a home, is a hard process. There is so much to consider outside of dollars and cents. The area you want to live, the kind of home you want, the amount of work you might be willing (or not) to put into a new home. We had a specific area where we were looking for a home, on and off. But a lot of those homes were out of our price range (home prices are outrageous and crazy) and some of them needed a lot of work. One we looked at was straight out of the 80s, with peeling wallpaper. Others were a bit too small. Another was situated near a railroad.

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But those homes were hypothetical buys. As in, “what if…” and didn’t cause me any real stress. Our actual home buy did because even though we immediately both loved the house and thought, we need to do this, the idea of letting go of our condo, a home I have personally lived in for nearly 15 years, that we just finished upgrading a couple of years ago was hard. I feel so connected to this space; where our child was born, where we spend Covid, our haven as a couple. So leaving this home is bittersweet for me. That’s the emotional part that is hard as a home buyer; then there’s the $$$ and the paperwork and the waiting.

Buying the home was really fairly straightforward and easy, though waiting for our offer to be accepted or declined was a nerve wracking day. But selling has been so much worse.

Seller’s Stress

Selling has proved to be a process of paperwork, and waiting. Lots of waiting. But before the waiting started, there was a huge process of cleaning and staging that drained the life out of me. The staging company wanted us to move out a lot of pieces to make the space seem more open, and that meant packing and moving furniture out of our home. And if that wasn’t hard enough, then once we were staged, the home was so picture perfect we were afraid to live in it and decided to go on staycations for three weeks. Which was so hard with a toddler. And we waited for the condo to sell during those three weeks, wondering why the market was so slow just when we were selling. It was not been fun. And of course, we worried about the dollars and cents of it all now; wondering if we have to sell for less than we thought.

After we came back from those staycations, we had to constantly leave our home for open houses, and for showings. I had to keep the place as clean as I could, hide things away, and it was hard. I still can’t find things that I had tucked away. We had some bad luck in the selling process—the market was slow, and time kept ticking away bringing us closer and closer to our closing date. We did finally sell, but we were honestly kept up some nights with worry.

Tips for Buying and Selling a Home

It’s hard to give advice on this topic, as everyone’s situation is going to vary so much. But here are some I think are worth giving some thought before you venture into this home buying and selling adventure:

1. Have an idea of the kind of home you want—a forever home, or a starter home to that forever home.
2. Know the area you buying—is it known for being quiet? Are there lots of parks and green spaces? Or night life etc
3. Turn key or not?—one thing I did not want was a home I’d have to renovate, but sometimes that can be an advantage as a fixer upper can be made into your dream home
4. Can you see yourself in this home?—does the space seem like one you can love and live in and be comfortable in? A layout is actually important as a more traditional home with rooms for every space and purpose might not suit you if you are looking for large, open spaces for entertaining or a modern look
5. Don’t rush—I’ve known people who have had to buy in a hurry and then were not happy with the home they bought. Plan and do your homework before venturing into buying and selling a home
6. Get a good realtor—you want a good brokerage that will show your home to it’s best advantage and work to sell your home so be sure to get a reputable brokerage that will have professional photos taken and will stage your home as well.
7. Pre-pack—to avoid all the craziness of packing when it is time to move, pre-pack things you aren’t using. Like your out of season clothes, books you rarely look at, china you don’t use etc This is smart to do if you are staging to help clear spaces from looking cluttered or busy.

Get Excited (But Not Impatient) About Your New Home

While buying and selling is stressful and emotional, try not to compartmentalize those emotions and plow through the process. Take each day as it comes, and when those stressful moments arrive, think about the next chapter of your life. Right now I’m thinking about how awesome it will to have my own office space at last, and how the layout of the home will allow me to work and spend time with my son in a new way. I’m also excited about creating a playroom for him.

But, what I’m not doing is buying stuff. Getting excited sometimes means you want to buy things for that new space. Instead, we are making a list of new things we need and want and planning those purchases (big and small) slowly. So while I have a vision and ideas, I’m refusing to be impatient about the process of selling and getting into the new home—all in good time. I want to be in the space and make choices that make sense and that I will love and not regret later when I’m in the home. I also want to enjoy the home we are leaving behind as we only have so much time left in a home we loved.

You’ll be hearing more about my new home and move in the upcoming months! Can you offer any tips to those who are thinking of buying a new home? Share in the comments!