I don’t share pictures of Baby J on Facebook. If you have any mommy friends, you know that everyone shares tons of pictures of their baby on Facebook. There are the monthly photo updates, holiday photos, birthday photos, seasonal photos, all sorts of photo shoot opportunities for baby. And a new mom, I have to admit, it is super tempting to share these photos. Because I do take them. I just don’t chose to share them on Facebook. I don’t intend to shame the moms who do share those photos, but I do want to talk about perfectly legitimate reasons not to share them, because I have to admit, I do feel a bit peer pressured to share these photos myself.
This post might be controversial, it might even rub you the wrong way, but these are my thoughts and feelings on the topic, and the reasons why I don’t share Baby J’s pictures online. And I think it’s important to sometimes share the unpopular opinion on topics in order to add to our way of thinking and being.
It’s too Public a Platform
Facebook is public platform. Everyone and their long lost uncle is on it. And I’m hugely uncomfortable with posting photos of my son on such a large and public platform. Years ago, our school had a cyber safety assembly for the students, run by our local police. And what stood out to me was that predators can use Facebook to find children. They explained that anyone can easily access your photos and can use that to groom your child, or track them. And that freaked me out. My nephews were quite young at the time, and I had shared a couple photos of them. I never did again.
Documenting my Child’s Life Online is Not Okay
I don’t think it’s cool to document my child’s entire life on Facebook. From birth to one month old to his first birthday and every thing in between, once you post those photos they are there forever. I took those photos because I love my child, it was fun, I’m capturing memories, but do I really need to plaster those on the internet? Would your mother have your photos published in the newspaper? No, so why am I essentially doing that? Sure, these photos get tons of likes from friends and family, and I myself click that like button, but I am always quietly cringing inside. There are other ways to share photos of my child with family and friends that don’t involve a public documentation of his life. This is a huge reason why I don’t share pictures of my baby online. Also, I remember reading a story once where a young man was suing his parents because they were not respecting his wishes that they remove photos they had shared of him as a baby that showed him in the nude. I mean…can you blame him?
Do Other People Really Care?
Like I said, everyone is going to hit that like button. But really, do other people really care to be spammed with photos of your baby? I know that when my co-workers began sharing all these monthly photos of their babies, I found it a little annoying. The photos were obviously very staged, which is fine, but I thought to myself, why? Now that I am a mom, I totally get that this first year of life is so special and exciting that you want to document it with photos. Babies grow so fast, it’s important to capture those changes. To us as the parents that is. Most of your co-workers don’t really care. They may even find it annoying, or painful. Keep in mind, there may be people you know struggling with fertility issues, baby loss, or are single and feeling that they may never have a baby themselves. Seeing your darling baby might be hard for them. While this is not a good enough reason alone not to share your photos if that is what you want to do, it is something to give some thought to I think.
I Don’t Need To Prove Anything
Remember how I said I was tempted to share photos? That I felt peer pressured to share them? I honestly think many of us share these photos and take these sorts of staged photos because we feel that we ought to because everyone else is. Everyone is sharing the same kind of photos: pictures of baby in a pumpkin patch is one, or the x months old photo complete with cute props. I even kinda feel like a bad mom for not sharing these photos, as though others might be wondering…where are the photos? Doesn’t Giulia take photos of her baby? But, the reality is…no one is really wondering. And I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I take those exact same photos because they are adorable, and I want them for myself and our memory book, but I don’t need to share them to prove that I’m a good mom. Social media is often all a front anyway, of everyone presenting the most wonderful moments through photos, and Facebook seems the worst place for it when it comes to our family life and children. Because I hate the toxicity of this, how false and self promoting it is, I don’t share pictures of my baby on Facebook.
Ultimately, your child is your child. It’s up to you how much you share on Facebook, or anywhere else. I don’t believe that anyone who does so is wrong, or bad, but I just don’t chose to do so when it comes to my own baby for the reasons I listed above. I may share some photos of him in the future, then again, I may never share any photos of my baby. So far I don’t feel that it’s necessary, I share pictures of him with friends in other ways, and the idea of my child’s whole life being on a public platform like Facebook does make me feel grossed out, and so the adorable photos I take of him are kept private.
What do you think of sharing photos of your children online? Do you agree, disagree, have some other thoughts to add? Share in the comments below.
I do not mind a few baby photos from an excited new mom, and especially love to see one Facebook birth announcement post from friends I am only able to keep in touch with on the platform, but I get your thoughts on the endless strings of photos and eventually feeling the peer pressure.
Baby Photo shoots for me will eventually be about having beautiful photos to keep in an album to look at as my future kids grow up. Personal memories and moments are personal, after all, and do not need to be shared repeatedly and aggressively across all platforms.
Love that you are sticking by what you believe in. 🙂
Jaya Avendel recently posted…‘Portrait as Sisterhood’ Published at Visual Verse!
Thanks for weighing in! It’s the constant string of photos I’m especially bugged by.
I understand your rational for not wanting to post your baby’s pictures online. As you said, you have nothong to prove. I personally do not post PICs of MYself or family on my social platforms. You would be surprise how many creeps will take your PICTUREs and use it without your KNOWing.
KEVIN FOODIE recently posted…Air Fryer Brussels Sprouts | Sweet Potato Sauce.
So sad. Thanks for visiting the blog.
I agree with you about this! I wouldn’t share images of my children online unless I have their understanding consent, but I don’t judge others who do as it’s a personal choice 🙂 I like to keep my private life e.g. partner and family out of my blogging and online life x
Eleanor recently posted…How to Add Gratitude to Your Daily Routine
I definitely agree with all of these points. I have a little one on the way and I don’t think i’ll be flooding my socials with pictures of her. She deserves privacy 😌
Megan Charlie recently posted…Gift Guide for Bookworms
Exactly what I think! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Not being a mother myself, I see both sides of the coin on this one. I understand the temptation to share all of your favourite pictures online, especially if you live a distance away from friends and family. My nieces, for example, are far enough away that we usually see them twice a year, so it’s nice to catch up with how they are growing and changing BUT I also understand why many parents aren’t okay with that. One option for parents that are torn is to set their privacy settings for an album up as strict as possible, allowing only close friends and family to see it, or even to create a secret Facebook group that only has your loved ones in it.
Britt K recently posted…10 Gifts that Support Animal Rescue Organizations this Holiday Season
You have an excellent point. Of course if you live far from family you want to share photos. I like the idea of a secret group personally. Hadn’t thought of that myself 😊
Fantastic post! I agree with your thoughts here- it’s a personal decision, but I like my privacy. It’s the same reason why I don’t share images of my relationship online x
Eleanor recently posted…8 Things That Everyone Struggles With- Even If They Don’t Admit It!
Yes, I shared my first relationship online and it was hard when we broke up because I had to change my status, remove our photo together etc Good to just keep some things private and our children also need our protection.
Ive ne been ok with hoW my mother documented my life especIally since i had a stalker use them.
Riyah speaks recently posted…3 Best Ways To Practice Self-Care During Your Period
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this happened to you. I think when Facebook was first a thing, it seemed harmless to share photos but now I think we know that there are dangers to sharing online and that we should be careful.
I don’t Have a child yet but when i do, i Will choose not to put their faces online. PossiblY pictures just none of their face. I just know how Easy it is to hack into accounts and how many photographs Get stolen. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic.
Lauren – bournemouthgirl
Lauren recently posted…8 Productive Habits To Try In Your Evening Routine
It’s so true! And scary.