I don’t share pictures of Baby J on Facebook. If you have any mommy friends, you know that everyone shares tons of pictures of their baby on Facebook. There are the monthly photo updates, holiday photos, birthday photos, seasonal photos, all sorts of photo shoot opportunities for baby. And a new mom, I have to admit, it is super tempting to share these photos. Because I do take them. I just don’t chose to share them on Facebook. I don’t intend to shame the moms who do share those photos, but I do want to talk about perfectly legitimate reasons not to share them, because I have to admit, I do feel a bit peer pressured to share these photos myself.
This post might be controversial, it might even rub you the wrong way, but these are my thoughts and feelings on the topic, and the reasons why I don’t share Baby J’s pictures online. And I think it’s important to sometimes share the unpopular opinion on topics in order to add to our way of thinking and being.
It’s too Public a Platform
Facebook is public platform. Everyone and their long lost uncle is on it. And I’m hugely uncomfortable with posting photos of my son on such a large and public platform. Years ago, our school had a cyber safety assembly for the students, run by our local police. And what stood out to me was that predators can use Facebook to find children. They explained that anyone can easily access your photos and can use that to groom your child, or track them. And that freaked me out. My nephews were quite young at the time, and I had shared a couple photos of them. I never did again.
Documenting my Child’s Life Online is Not Okay
I don’t think it’s cool to document my child’s entire life on Facebook. From birth to one month old to his first birthday and every thing in between, once you post those photos they are there forever. I took those photos because I love my child, it was fun, I’m capturing memories, but do I really need to plaster those on the internet? Would your mother have your photos published in the newspaper? No, so why am I essentially doing that? Sure, these photos get tons of likes from friends and family, and I myself click that like button, but I am always quietly cringing inside. There are other ways to share photos of my child with family and friends that don’t involve a public documentation of his life. This is a huge reason why I don’t share pictures of my baby online. Also, I remember reading a story once where a young man was suing his parents because they were not respecting his wishes that they remove photos they had shared of him as a baby that showed him in the nude. I mean…can you blame him?
Do Other People Really Care?
Like I said, everyone is going to hit that like button. But really, do other people really care to be spammed with photos of your baby? I know that when my co-workers began sharing all these monthly photos of their babies, I found it a little annoying. The photos were obviously very staged, which is fine, but I thought to myself, why? Now that I am a mom, I totally get that this first year of life is so special and exciting that you want to document it with photos. Babies grow so fast, it’s important to capture those changes. To us as the parents that is. Most of your co-workers don’t really care. They may even find it annoying, or painful. Keep in mind, there may be people you know struggling with fertility issues, baby loss, or are single and feeling that they may never have a baby themselves. Seeing your darling baby might be hard for them. While this is not a good enough reason alone not to share your photos if that is what you want to do, it is something to give some thought to I think.
I Don’t Need To Prove Anything
Remember how I said I was tempted to share photos? That I felt peer pressured to share them? I honestly think many of us share these photos and take these sorts of staged photos because we feel that we ought to because everyone else is. Everyone is sharing the same kind of photos: pictures of baby in a pumpkin patch is one, or the x months old photo complete with cute props. I even kinda feel like a bad mom for not sharing these photos, as though others might be wondering…where are the photos? Doesn’t Giulia take photos of her baby? But, the reality is…no one is really wondering. And I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I take those exact same photos because they are adorable, and I want them for myself and our memory book, but I don’t need to share them to prove that I’m a good mom. Social media is often all a front anyway, of everyone presenting the most wonderful moments through photos, and Facebook seems the worst place for it when it comes to our family life and children. Because I hate the toxicity of this, how false and self promoting it is, I don’t share pictures of my baby on Facebook.
Ultimately, your child is your child. It’s up to you how much you share on Facebook, or anywhere else. I don’t believe that anyone who does so is wrong, or bad, but I just don’t chose to do so when it comes to my own baby for the reasons I listed above. I may share some photos of him in the future, then again, I may never share any photos of my baby. So far I don’t feel that it’s necessary, I share pictures of him with friends in other ways, and the idea of my child’s whole life being on a public platform like Facebook does make me feel grossed out, and so the adorable photos I take of him are kept private.
What do you think of sharing photos of your children online? Do you agree, disagree, have some other thoughts to add? Share in the comments below.