I have for some weeks now, like millions of others I’m sure, watched the demotion case of Depp vs Heard in fascination. Which is not like me because I don’t usually consume a lot of celebrity news/gossip. It’s just never been that interesting to me. But only a couple of weeks into this trial and my Youtube feed was filled with videos and soon I started clicking, and somehow became invested. I have listened to this case along with many, many others and I’ve been flabbergasted, outraged and scandalized. I’ve learned a lot too, about domestic violence and abuse.
This case has been an eye opener. I think I first really drawn in by Dr. Curry’s testimony about her testing and findings regarding Amber Heard. As a teacher, I often have to work with kids who have anxiety, ADHD, autism, have suffered trauma, are on meds etc and I don’t always have ways to help them or their families so mental health has become a topic of interest to me personally. I do suffer from what *I* call functional anxiety, so naturally that’s another reason why I’m interested in mental health. I already knew what the DSM-5 was. So Dr. Curry’s explanations and her diagnosis really drew me in. And I have to say, based on that, I was saddened for Amber Heard.
Pro-Heard?
Now, I’m not pro-Heard, as I’ve seen people on Twitter talk about. I don’t add hashtags to my tweets, which I think have been few, about this case. I have leaned from the beginning, towards being pro-Depp. Full disclourse, I’m a bit of a fan. I loved every film I’ve ever seen Johnny Depp in, from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and Sleepy Hollow, to the Pirates franchise. I think he’s a wonderful character actor. Have I seen all of his films? No. I didn’t even know he was in Nightmare on Elm Street, and being the age I am, I should have. So I’m not pro-Depp because I am a fan, but rather because, as the case unfolded, I saw so many inconsistencies with Ms. Heard’s side of the story, and the diagnosis from Dr. Curry seemed evident to me in her behaviours and statements during testimony. Also, for the record, I don’t think Johnny Depp is a saint. He clearly has some mental health issues that need addressing or continual addressing, as many others in this world do. He’s human, and so is Amber Heard. And humans aren’t perfect beings.
So why am I saddened for Amber Heard? If I believe Johnny Depp more than her, why do I feel sad for her? If I don’t believe her, and I couldn’t in honesty say that I do, why does this trial sadden me? Well, for one thing, I’m not baying for her blood. I have seen many people comment on how she has undone a lot of work of the MeToo movement, that people like her are the reasons DV victims don’t come forward, that they want her to go to jail for perjury and even abuse, since she is the abuser. In the court of public opinion, Amber Heard has been judged and sentenced. And the way her punishment is being eeked out makes me really sad for Amber Heard.
Not a Criminal Case
And yet, I think people tend to forget that is case is not about finding either Depp or Heard guilty of abuse of any kind. It is not a criminal case. It is a civil case for defamation. No one is going to jail at at the end of the day, and I doubt that even if Ms. Heard has perjured herself in this trial, that she is going to jail for that since it is not going to be easy to prove or even to gather enough evidence for the court to bring against her. So the baying for blood of Ms. Heard is a bit of a reach in both instances here in regards to abuse and perjury. Does that seem unfair? Perhaps, but the world is an unfair place and we have laws and processes to level out the playing field.
The Judgement of the Internet
The other reason I feel sad for Amber Heard is what she said in her rebuttal testimony. That she receives death threats. That people make threats against the life of her child, a baby, and that these threats and insults come in on a daily basis. And honestly, while there has been a lot that Ms. Heard has said in this trial that I have not believed, there has been some things she has said that I do believe, and that is one of them. That truly disgusts me. Even if you believe her to be an abuser, to be a narracist who manipulates and gaslights and never takes responsibilities for her actions, who lays blame on others, who has done horrible violent things to other people, what Ms. Heard needs is not not our judgement, but help. If Dr. Curry is right in her assessment of Amber Heard, then Amber Heard needs help. And if Ms. Heard is suffering from PTSD, she also needs help. And I’m sure there is some PTSD there, from traumas that were never addressed in her life, perhaps in combination with the personality disorders brought up in this case.
Who are we, on the internet, to sit in judgement of her? To say snarky, mean and insulting things about her? To threaten her or her child? Is that justice? Is it justice for Johnny Depp? Hardly. And so yes, I’m saddened for her. I can’t imagine the life she is living, where she can’t even open Twitter without seeing herself attacked and ridiculed, when her testimony is the butt of TikTok jokes. It’s just sad, and even if her choices and actions have helped bring her to this point, it’s still sad and unnecessary, and very unnatural punishment.
So while I do believe Johnny Depp, I think we all need to leave Amber Heard alone. I’m sad for Amber Heard that she has to put up with all of us judging her when we have no right to judge her, at least not in such a public and harassing way. Opinions can be kept to oneself. I’m sad for Amber Heard that she has suffered trauma in her life, and that she is possibly unready to seek the help she needs to truly heal. That is my opinion, which I think may be an unpopular one, but I always walk on the side of do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
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Very fair assessment all around. Like you, I was drawn in to this case. I did not watch it from the beginning, only the last 2-3 weeks, here and there. From what I saw, her story was full of inconsistencies. Doees that mean that it never happened? only they know. i think there is guilt on both sides. but for the sake of this case, in her rebuttal, she outed herself by saying that his behavior was why she wrote the op-ed. she said it more than once. viewers caught that, but the lawyers didn’t seem to pick up on it.
i think the whole thing is sad. people were used and exploited. revenge is at the wheel here. and the viewers are just drooling over the body count. the anger and toxicity being spewn over the internet is terrible! it’s disgusting and sad and i wish everyone gets the help they need.
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I agree, people have become carried away and just downright mean.
I’ve not followed the trial really, so I’m not sure of what exactly has been going on. But I agree with your points. Noone is really going to come out of this well, and let’s hope both sides have people to support them afterwards because she in particular is going to continue having a hard time afterwards I’m sure.
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Yes, I agree, I think she’s going to feel the repercussions for a long time.
A very empathetic take that should be more common but unfortunately is not. I agree with your opinion, it perfectly describes my own.
Both parties need help more than anything. And some on social media are taking it too far in the way they are threatening heard, not realising they’re evil themselves for that
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Miriam
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Agreed, they’ve crossed lines. It’s so sad people can become so vicious.
I haven’t watched any of this case but I have kept up with the main news sites coverage of it (I don’t read a lot about it either but am aware of what is going on). There is a lot of hatred towards Heard on social media. I think this case and potential abuse/defamation is far more nuanced and complex than picking a side. I agree with you that it’s sad that public opinion can be so abusive itself and this has made a bit of a circus of the event.
Molly | Transatlantic Notes recently posted…Meadows: A Poem About Compassionate Love
That’s a great way to put it; the public’s opinion has indeed become abusive.
I’m disgusted that this TRial is even PUBLIC. It’s nobody ELSes business.
I think it needed to be public for JD to be un-defamed as it was, we, the public, needed to see and decide for ourselves no matter what the jury thought and decided. But yes, it’s not our business and it’s certainly not something to be talked about in the manner that it is.
This was a very interesting take. I can agree on some points, and I don’t think people should be showing her as much hate online as they have been. But, I still struggle with some of it. Initially, I felt sad for her because of the diagnosis, like you, but then I had to ask myself, “Would I feel the same if she were a man?” and I think I wouldn’t. Also, as much as I’m sure she has a lot to work on with her mental health, that’s not an excuse to hurt someone else. I don’t think she showed any empathy towards JD when he was being crucified by the media and losing job opportunities and having his family threatened. In fact, she was the star witness in the UK trial (which was NOT actually about her). So I have trouble with giving her a pass.
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You raise good points! I definitely don’t think she ought be given a pass, and I’m glad with the finding of the jury as I feel that she did defame JD and that her choices were horrible. Her mental health conditions don’t excuse any of that for sure. But I think the internet needs to leave her alone regardless, the things people are saying and doing are hardly any better than her own behaviour and choices.
This is a very interesting take, and we definitely understand the sentiments contained in this post. We have several lawyer friends, and we perceived this trial as a fascinating case study into the human psyche. Defamation is an interesting character-driven cause of action, and this case will definitely continue to make headlines. Thank you for sharing!
It really was an interesting case and I think people aren’t looking at it from enough angles to really understand it.
thank you for this post. you see i have been observing the online commentary with horror. I cannot understand why people are so invested in taking sides in what is clearly a tragic case of a relationship that went totally off the rails. what is there to celebrate in this story? As for amber heard, if she is truly bipolar then she deserves our empathy, and not the barage of insults that is being sent her way. it is heart breaking all round
Carla Corelli recently posted…The 10 Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: What to Expect and How to Cope
Totally agree, I think all this commentary online really needs to stop.